A letter to my adoptive child

I want to be a Dad who is patient, helpful and strong,

To be by your side if things ever go wrong.

I'll be someone who guides you to do the right thing,

And helps you solve problems that life sometimes brings.

I want to be a Dad who is loving and kind,

And usually knows what's going on in your mind.

To be someone who listens and makes time to talk,

When things are bad I won't turn around and walk.

I'll be a strong shoulder when times are tough,

And still loves you dearly when I've had enough.

I'll help you and guide you through all that I can,

Wanting nothing more than to make you a strong woman or man.

You may not be of our flesh or even our bone,

But through the miracle of life you will soon be our own.

Your birth-mom has so much courage to give you to us,

She loves you so much she will put you in our trust.

We can't wait to meet you and your room is all done,

The dogs are waiting to play and for you to outrun.

Your Love has grown in our hearts for 5 years,

The family is waiting for you to appear.

You'll soon be my Buddy, and True Life Long Friend,

I will be there for you no matter what, till the end.

Love, Dad

My struggle with fear

Every morning I wake up, and I grab fear by the neck and throw it away.  
This is how my nerdy mind best represents this struggle every day:

(Shatner is my hero)

Anyhow, back to my story, I want to continue to #focus and #absorb the good in this adoption process, and wrestle out the bad.  At this point most of you all know our story and how it's been a long 4 years of waiting so let's stop looking back and continue to look forward.  Here are some inspirational stories of adoption which make me smile and look forward to our future!

Rebecca's story, an adoptee:

(watch Rebecca's video at this link it is excellent, as are the other stories on that page)

http://adoptionincanada.ca/testimonials/adoptee-stories

Carol’s Story, an adoptive mother:

“Jessica continues to grow on me. It is hard to imagine life without her anymore. Adopting Jessica has been the most significant, satisfying thing that I have ever done with my life.” 
“Being the independent, free spirited...person that I am, it has been so good for me to find my life wrapped inextricably with another’s. I don’t make decisions, dreams, and plans just for ME anymore. My responsibility to her and her future colours everything I do and think these days.”

“Her companionship and delightful little-girl personality repay me many times over for any sacrifices I might be making for her. I love hearing her dozens-a-day call of “Mother!” I love to listen to her animated chatter and notice how her growing mind works.”

Lauren and I are both very independent people, and we know that this new life is going to bring us closer together and focused on something that we've never experienced   - JB

Joelle’s Story:

And finally, read this story from Jessica, who is an adoptee in Ontario:

Continuing to search find inspiration and hope every day from pictures, videos, and stories like these.  Thank you to all who are positive people in our lives and bring us strength.  

- JB

Letting go...

I wanted to share a post from my art blog with you all.

It has been a awhile coming but I was laid off of my job. Saying it sounds negative but I don’t look at it as a negative. The place where I was managing is small and wanted to eliminate the position I was in, not me. But I had lost my passion for the job. I started there 8yrs ago and started managing 4yrs and at the time was only going to be a couple of years at the most until I got pregnant. That plan was something out of my hands. With the adoption some where in the future our lives have become a waiting game and my soul was feeling it. My position was also waiting for the call. We all knew one day I would be gone so we planned for it. My replacement was fully ready to take over and no baby. My art has never been busier and my that is where my heart is. My employer has turned into an amazing friend and I am more then happy to pursue my art. It was a stressful job filled with ups and downs and a lot of pressure. I am on a week off and can see how letting go of that job is going to help me, my life and my art.

I owe a lot to that job. It got me here. A new house, a flourishing art career that I was able to build while working, and the funds to adopt my child. Those are just the big ones. It taught me patience, team work and how to find joy even when things are rough. I am grateful for the 8 years and it is going to be extremely hard to hand over the keys and say goodbye to something I helped create and was a part of.

Lauren

Spring brings the end of a long and cold winter..

This weekend, we "spring" the clocks ahead which is a very exciting time for many, especially after such a snowy and cold winter!  Well for Lauren and I it holds an even brighter meaning.  This winter for us has been the most difficult and painful.  For all of you who have been reading our story know it has been a struggle, but we persevere with courage with the love and support from our friends and family at our side.

It has been a winter of sadness.

But we look forward because we see the sun  ☼


The spring, and the joy of the new season brings a renewal of our hope that our family will soon be together.  There is a feeling of resolve that is growing, and we know that the time is almost near.

♪ ♫ Here Comes The Sun ♪ ♫

Here comes the Sun, here comes the Sun,

And I say.. it's all right.

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here.

Here comes the Sun, here comes the Sun,

And I say.. it's all right.

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here.

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes.

Little darling, I feel like ice is slowly melting

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been clear.

Here comes the Sun, here comes the Sun,

And I say.. it's all right.

#20

A lot of people ask us about any updates with our Adoption process, so just wanted to let you all know that we are technically #20 on the list at the agency, and our chances of a phone call keep getting better and better with each passing day.  

So yes the waiting continues, but every time the land-line rings at home I say "BABY!" maybe a good omen, not sure, but I feel at this point anything can help  ;)

Just doing our best to keep a lot of love in our hearts, because the moment will soon come and the pain in waiting will soon be over.

I read a lot of poems and quotes from time to time to gain strength, and this is one I wanted to share.

I am so very special
I have been from the start
Before they held me in their arms
my family held me in their hearts.
And like a single drop of rain
that on still waters fall
My life and love will ripples make
and touch the lives of all.
So read this precious story
as step by step I grow.
I am a blessing and gift
as each page here will show.

Author Unknown


JB

ugh!!!!!

I am angry, I am pissed off. I am just shaking my head, ok I will calm down so I can try to get some words out. 

Brad and Angelina are famous movie stars and I will never know them. and they do crazy artist type stuff that we will never get. haha. They have more money then I will ever dream of. But if I met them I would thank them. For standing up for something the believe in no matter what the haters say. I admire them for living their lives and dealing with shit like this. 

Who ever made this picture is a ignorant racist bleep bleep. They want to adopt her cause she is black? Why does that have anything to do with being adopted? This picture represents all that is wrong in our world. Bullying, not understanding someone else so lets make fun of them. 

Why do people hate Brad and Angelina so much for adopting, and what is wrong with them if they adopted 3 kids and had 3 biological children. They have enough money to have an orphanage and more power to them. It takes amazing people to adopt, the patience to wait and love a child that doe not share your blood line. 

Why is adoption made out to be a negative?

I guess I am so fed up all I have is questions.

Teaching about tolerance

  Yesterday was Pink Shirt Day, which we view as a very important day in teaching about tolerance and acceptance.

  We both know that through the process of adoption we are going to do a lot more in-depth education about tolerance.  With our adoption there is a good chance we are going to have a child that might be of a different heritage, ethnicity, and that of course looks different than ourselves.  So even though we know education of tolerance of others is very important, we will need to work extra hard in preparing our child for the inevitable of knowing how to feel when someone talks about them being adopted.
  Currently, we find that adoption is much more accepted now than it probably ever has been, but still there are still many who don't know how to view it, or look down on the process because they fear what they don't understand.  And that is really where acceptance comes from, taking away that fear or that pre-conceived notion (that is out there because of negative stereotyping or even media), and communicating the truth in a way to bring people together.  Because what I know first hand is that people who say things that may hurt are often un-educated, misinformed, or are insecure about themselves.

  Something as simple as a teacher in school handing out a Family Tree class project could really affect a young kid, because all it takes is someone to ask or heckle them on who there "real" family is to really send things spiraling out of control unless they know how to answer and be proud of what they say.  In fact, I think our child will easily have one of the most fascinating stories to tell and be prepared to answer!  They will be able to explain the courage of their birth-mother and how without her, they wouldn't be here today.  That she loved them so much that they found their parents to raise them.  That they have two family trees, how cool is that?

  But I always love comedy too, and easily deflates a serious situation that may be hard to deal with:

  "Why don't you look like your Dad?"
  Answer:  "Because I'm better looking!"   (this one's a stretch)

  "What does it feel like to be adopted?"
  Answer:  "What does it feel like *not* to be adopted?"  <-- my favorite

  "Wow, you're adopted.. you're so lucky!"
  Answer:  "No, my parents are the lucky ones, they got me"


  So the education of the adoption for us will start right from an early age, because with the advent of social media, it seems like our culture actually has regressed at times!  The internet can be a scary place where many people feel like they can say hurtful things behind the protection of their computer screen.  This element of cyber-bullying is important to educate and prepare for, even in the case of adoption!  Look at these examples which I found in about 30 seconds just by Googling, "adoption jokes" and think of yourself as our 8-year old kid looking at these:

I actually totally forgot about this joke in the Avengers, and it really saddens me that the writers included this fact as to why Loki is "evil" and killed all those people... because he's adopted??

  And there is even a lot worse if you want to look for it.

  But no different than people making fun of others because of their sexual orientation, the color of their skin, color of their hair, size of their body, the way they speak, walk, etc. we all know the list goes on and on.

  So going back full circle, please everyone remember Pink Shirt Day every year for how important it is, but also think about the tolerance, education, and acceptance of adoption.  You will be surprised if you looked carefully how many people you know are affected by it.



JB