Teaching about tolerance

  Yesterday was Pink Shirt Day, which we view as a very important day in teaching about tolerance and acceptance.

  We both know that through the process of adoption we are going to do a lot more in-depth education about tolerance.  With our adoption there is a good chance we are going to have a child that might be of a different heritage, ethnicity, and that of course looks different than ourselves.  So even though we know education of tolerance of others is very important, we will need to work extra hard in preparing our child for the inevitable of knowing how to feel when someone talks about them being adopted.
  Currently, we find that adoption is much more accepted now than it probably ever has been, but still there are still many who don't know how to view it, or look down on the process because they fear what they don't understand.  And that is really where acceptance comes from, taking away that fear or that pre-conceived notion (that is out there because of negative stereotyping or even media), and communicating the truth in a way to bring people together.  Because what I know first hand is that people who say things that may hurt are often un-educated, misinformed, or are insecure about themselves.

  Something as simple as a teacher in school handing out a Family Tree class project could really affect a young kid, because all it takes is someone to ask or heckle them on who there "real" family is to really send things spiraling out of control unless they know how to answer and be proud of what they say.  In fact, I think our child will easily have one of the most fascinating stories to tell and be prepared to answer!  They will be able to explain the courage of their birth-mother and how without her, they wouldn't be here today.  That she loved them so much that they found their parents to raise them.  That they have two family trees, how cool is that?

  But I always love comedy too, and easily deflates a serious situation that may be hard to deal with:

  "Why don't you look like your Dad?"
  Answer:  "Because I'm better looking!"   (this one's a stretch)

  "What does it feel like to be adopted?"
  Answer:  "What does it feel like *not* to be adopted?"  <-- my favorite

  "Wow, you're adopted.. you're so lucky!"
  Answer:  "No, my parents are the lucky ones, they got me"


  So the education of the adoption for us will start right from an early age, because with the advent of social media, it seems like our culture actually has regressed at times!  The internet can be a scary place where many people feel like they can say hurtful things behind the protection of their computer screen.  This element of cyber-bullying is important to educate and prepare for, even in the case of adoption!  Look at these examples which I found in about 30 seconds just by Googling, "adoption jokes" and think of yourself as our 8-year old kid looking at these:

I actually totally forgot about this joke in the Avengers, and it really saddens me that the writers included this fact as to why Loki is "evil" and killed all those people... because he's adopted??

  And there is even a lot worse if you want to look for it.

  But no different than people making fun of others because of their sexual orientation, the color of their skin, color of their hair, size of their body, the way they speak, walk, etc. we all know the list goes on and on.

  So going back full circle, please everyone remember Pink Shirt Day every year for how important it is, but also think about the tolerance, education, and acceptance of adoption.  You will be surprised if you looked carefully how many people you know are affected by it.



JB