Teaching about tolerance

  Yesterday was Pink Shirt Day, which we view as a very important day in teaching about tolerance and acceptance.

  We both know that through the process of adoption we are going to do a lot more in-depth education about tolerance.  With our adoption there is a good chance we are going to have a child that might be of a different heritage, ethnicity, and that of course looks different than ourselves.  So even though we know education of tolerance of others is very important, we will need to work extra hard in preparing our child for the inevitable of knowing how to feel when someone talks about them being adopted.
  Currently, we find that adoption is much more accepted now than it probably ever has been, but still there are still many who don't know how to view it, or look down on the process because they fear what they don't understand.  And that is really where acceptance comes from, taking away that fear or that pre-conceived notion (that is out there because of negative stereotyping or even media), and communicating the truth in a way to bring people together.  Because what I know first hand is that people who say things that may hurt are often un-educated, misinformed, or are insecure about themselves.

  Something as simple as a teacher in school handing out a Family Tree class project could really affect a young kid, because all it takes is someone to ask or heckle them on who there "real" family is to really send things spiraling out of control unless they know how to answer and be proud of what they say.  In fact, I think our child will easily have one of the most fascinating stories to tell and be prepared to answer!  They will be able to explain the courage of their birth-mother and how without her, they wouldn't be here today.  That she loved them so much that they found their parents to raise them.  That they have two family trees, how cool is that?

  But I always love comedy too, and easily deflates a serious situation that may be hard to deal with:

  "Why don't you look like your Dad?"
  Answer:  "Because I'm better looking!"   (this one's a stretch)

  "What does it feel like to be adopted?"
  Answer:  "What does it feel like *not* to be adopted?"  <-- my favorite

  "Wow, you're adopted.. you're so lucky!"
  Answer:  "No, my parents are the lucky ones, they got me"


  So the education of the adoption for us will start right from an early age, because with the advent of social media, it seems like our culture actually has regressed at times!  The internet can be a scary place where many people feel like they can say hurtful things behind the protection of their computer screen.  This element of cyber-bullying is important to educate and prepare for, even in the case of adoption!  Look at these examples which I found in about 30 seconds just by Googling, "adoption jokes" and think of yourself as our 8-year old kid looking at these:

I actually totally forgot about this joke in the Avengers, and it really saddens me that the writers included this fact as to why Loki is "evil" and killed all those people... because he's adopted??

  And there is even a lot worse if you want to look for it.

  But no different than people making fun of others because of their sexual orientation, the color of their skin, color of their hair, size of their body, the way they speak, walk, etc. we all know the list goes on and on.

  So going back full circle, please everyone remember Pink Shirt Day every year for how important it is, but also think about the tolerance, education, and acceptance of adoption.  You will be surprised if you looked carefully how many people you know are affected by it.



JB

..::|| L E G O ||::..

With the recent release of the new LEGO Movie, it really brings me back to all the Lego that I had as a child.

When the little one gets old enough, I will be excited to introduce such important learning toys like Lego, which really helps develop Motor skills, developmental thinking, and problem solving, as well as basic Engineering, Math and Science skills.

My parents rarely bought me the independent Lego sets, probably because of the cost.  Instead, I had a lot of garage sale, or random Lego sets all combined.  Which actually helped a lot, because it forced me to use my imagination to create my own designs, buildings and ships.  Having that type of creativity is important, and not always conforming to the designs given to you.

I'm looking forward to the Lego movie because it looks funny, with great characters and clever dialogue.  But what I will always think about will be my little 5 year old self on the rumpus room floor, with hundreds of colorful Lego blocks around me.

Let's just hope I don't hog all the blocks from our kid  :)

JB

Painting Baby's Room

Painting the Baby's room today, I can almost hear the patter of little feet across the hard wood floor, and hear the giggles

JB

Love Day

When I was single I didn't believe in the reason to celebrate this day! It was rare for me to have a Valentine and I really resented the day. Now we see it all over Facebook as a reminder that you need to have a special person in your life to partake in the celebrations of St.Valentine. 

My husband ends up always working on this day. So we always do something to celebrate each other the night before, and this year we gave each other shirts. (read post before this one to see how that went) I wake up this am with so much love from strangers who admire my art, follow me and support me, from friends I haven't spoken to in years, to friends and family in my daily life. Showing their LOVE and SUPPORT for me. It inspired me to look at love day in a completely different way. 

Love is Love,f no matter who it comes from or if your single or married. Everyone of us has love in their life and we all have the choice to dwell on where we are, or focus on the love no matter where it comes from.

I hope this helps someone today feeling down on just another day full of love. 

Expecting??

 Who knew a picture of expecting parents would be so popular. We have announced many stages of our Adoption on Facebook but never got the response as we did last night with one picture. We are not expecting in the traditional way but to us this is it. We have always felt like we should and need to act like we are expecting .

We have always acted like expecting parents, it is a different feeling not knowing when we are going to be parents but we have always done little things to keep our hope and faith strong, to keep us from loosing site of the day that will change our lives forever. We innocently thought that these shirts represented us and where we feel we are in the stage of Adoption. 

A lot of people who posted comments or liked the photo do not know us, do not know our story. The friends and family who saw the picture thought we were not telling them a huge announcement. First off we would never announce the big day to the ones closest to us on Facebook.  Second we feel bad that the picture sent a message that we did not want to send. 

We are going to be parents one day and we hope very soon. To us that is what the picture says.

With Adoption we may not tell anyone except close family and friends when we receive a child. As we may have to wait 10 days to make it official. The birth parents have 10 days to make sure that the decision they made is the right one for them. We as adoptive parents are very supportive of this. 

We will announce we have a baby with a baby in our arms.

 This journey has taught us so much about ourselves and the world, relationships and everyday life that moments of hope really keep us getting out of bed in the morning. Some days are hard to face, but knowing one day our child will soon be home brings us so much Joy.

We woke up with 163 likes and growing and many messages in my inbox. One message really touched me and Jason and we have asked if we could share it. 

Thought this was a little to vulnerable to post on your Mommy/Daddy t-shirt photo. Made me smile on what was turning out to be a shitty day. You inspire me to endeavor to be the best Mom I can. You inspire me to hold my kids more. you inspire me to play more and work less. You inspire me to love hard. YOU INSPIRE ME! Thank you for not being afraid to show your brokenness, your hope, your faith, your vulnerability. Now I am going to go and thank the Good Lord that tomorrow is a new day.

You will make some child's life beautiful!

Funny thing about life and people....things will always be perceived through their lens. Whether it's reality or not. Human nature is desperate for a happy ending. Stay true to your intentions and what is in your heart...those that love will remain, forgive and continue to dream alongside you until your dream comes to pass

Btw ...with the tshirt... I love your random acts of faith!!!

Or maybe I should say intentional acts of faith

-TK

I am very happy to hear that I inspire one person by sharing our story. This is why I share, because sometimes we lose sight of what is important. This is why I follow TK. she has 3 amazing children and shares her life on social media and one day I will be the Mother she is. By following her and many other Moms in my life, it gives me hope and puts my outlook of today into perspective as this to shall pass. 

Here comes the sun!!

Here Comes The Sun Art Print by SabineD | Society6

Since Jason posted a song, I shall do the same. A couple of days ago I got introduced to this song from another adoption blog that inspires me. littlest brooks livingston blog
This song is extremely fitting to our situation as we have felt like we have been under a dark cloud for years. 

We have recently made the decision step out from under that cloud. We are making a concious effort to embrace the good and ignore the subtle negatives we face in life. 

Last week we registered at Babies r Us and we had so much fun. We were able to see our life with the baby and allowed us to feel like it was going to happen. 

As February arrived we have changed our outlook. We are open to new adventures and hopefully our biggest one will come quick. 

Enjoy this great little number by The Beatles. 

Click Here: Here comes the Sun

It's not easy being green...

This week we've been thinking about music that fits in with adoption, and there were many songs that we thought of, but one that first came to my mind being Kermit the Frog's "It's Not Easy Being Green".

I've always loved this song when I was a kid (and the Muppets in general), and I think it really fits and when you listen to it, no matter how simple it seems it arguably is one of the best songs ever written.  

The song of course is not just about skin color, but about growing up and being perceived as different from everyone else.  Finding out what you are capable of and who you are.  Knowing that you can learn to be happy with who you are and what you have, but also that it isn't important to try and be like everyone else or need to be accepted by everyone.  What's important is to understand how special you are and be confident in how special you can become. 

Being an adopted child, a birth-mom or adoptive parents you can definitely feel this way, and you may strive for acceptance from those around you because you feel so different.  

Because it may not be easy being green  ;)  but there is always love in the people who accept you for who you are and the choices you make.  You just need to find them and stay connected with them to help you grow.  You don't need to change who you are, just realize that being green is just fine!

Watch Kermit sing it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpiIWMWWVco


- JB