I have experienced a lot of pain with finding out I cannot have kids. But today some news hurt a little more then usual. I am so grateful to have adoption in my life that I can still be a mother. Now we have been on the list for 4 months now and the wait seems to be going smoothly. Everyone around me always says it will happen when it is suppose too. I believe that.
But when, we have been on the list for 4 months. But I have been waiting to hold my little one for going on 4 years. When is it my turn. I don't see myself as a selfish person but I want it to be my turn. I see all my friends, family and others getting pregnant and basking in the joy of their baby. Don't get me wrong I am very happy for them, and then sad for me. It is a small reminder that we are waiting with no end in sight.
Please do not take this as me complaining, I am happy to be where I am, with what I have, It is my plea to who ever is listening to hurry up already, we are ready!!!
Congratulations to all the new babies coming into this world in 2013.
Lauren
Friday, 25 January 2013
Thursday, 3 January 2013
2013 is the year it all happens
Happy New Year! And what a year it is going to be. As Lauren and I look forward to 2013, we know in our hearts that this is the year we are able to meet our new child and the new birth mother who is brave enough to go through this process and meet us. Our anticipation is spilling over at this point, because there isn't a day that goes by that we don't think about the baby that is going to come into our lives. However we know because of our experiences last year that we need to stay focused on our lives right now, keep positive and try to live each day without looking too far ahead otherwise we can get lost in these emotions and forget about what is happening right in front of us at this present time.
Questions always race through our mind about the process that is soon to begin. But we have chosen to not check in with the adoption agency to find out where we are on the list. Have we moved up 5 spots? Only 2? Have we not moved at all? Has our file been viewed by any birth mothers? These are questions that we want to know, and don't want to know because in this case sometimes the less we know is better for us. Lauren and I know this will all happen when it is supposed to happen, and that our phone will ring that day with the news we want to hear.
I tend to find myself answering every phone call now on my cell or the landline even if it looks like a telemarketer or a wrong number because you never know. So you can imagine how extra-aggravated I get when it actually IS someone trying to sell me something! ;) As much as we try not to think about it, that phone call we are waiting for has been playing over in my head enough times that it is almost like a dream.
Looking back on 2012 it was a year of immense hardships, challenges, and lessons which tested us, making us stronger as people, and also as a couple. But as is life, so many positives are coming out of a year we saw so difficult. New friendships, new understanding and love of each other, new-found confidence in ourselves as future parents, and new strength from people who influenced our lives for the better in 2012.
This year we are both going to make the effort to try and only surround ourselves with the people and places that make us happy. Continuing to build a loving life and home that awaits a special little person.
So 2013.. I am so happy you are here! #joy <3
- Jason
Tuesday, 25 December 2012
Day 12... 12 days of Adoption Christmas
This is the last post for our 12 days of Christmas and for 2012.
It is a Christmas wish. Are hearts are thinking of the joy that will come, but also thinking one special Uncle we lost this year. I hold my memories of him close to my heart. With a year filled with sadness and heart ache we end the year looking forward. Dreaming of giggles, and feet running in the hallway, snuggles and smiles. Tears and dirty diapers, late night feedings, and bath time, stories and playing.
A wish for our little one to come home and be safe, On this Christmas Day we embrace our year of trials and tribulations and knowing what the future holds for us and our family.
We love you already little one, come home soon!
We love you Uncle Dick, and we miss you so much!!
Lauren and Jason
It is a Christmas wish. Are hearts are thinking of the joy that will come, but also thinking one special Uncle we lost this year. I hold my memories of him close to my heart. With a year filled with sadness and heart ache we end the year looking forward. Dreaming of giggles, and feet running in the hallway, snuggles and smiles. Tears and dirty diapers, late night feedings, and bath time, stories and playing.
A wish for our little one to come home and be safe, On this Christmas Day we embrace our year of trials and tribulations and knowing what the future holds for us and our family.
We love you already little one, come home soon!
We love you Uncle Dick, and we miss you so much!!
Lauren and Jason
Monday, 24 December 2012
Day 11.. 12 days of Adoption Christmas
Day 11...Twas the Night before Christmas...
When I was a kid, there was nothing more exciting than the days leading up to Christmas. Opening the days in the advent calendar, eating the Christmas baking, watching the presents go under the tree... then shaking those presents, sniffing them, holding them up to the light.. it is an artform trying to figure out what they are (and I am pretty adept at it, I should teach courses).
There are so many little traditions that Lauren and I are creating for our own Christmas, that I know will create lots of excitement for our kid(s) when they eventually come to us. I can hardly wait to share Christmas time with our little one.
*but* the only thing the poor kid is going to have to suffer through... is not opening gifts on Christmas Eve. The Burns family we always opened all our gifts after dinner together as a family, and then got our stocking the next morning. But the Cowles wait until Christmas morning to open gifts.. I have to wait until the morning? How do I contain my excitement!? Boy those dogs of ours will probably be up PRETTY early tomorrow morning, because they will be too excited to sleep to open up their stockings and get their squeaky toys and denti-sticks! Guess I'll have to get up with them ^_^
Here's hoping next year we can add a little stocking to our four that are already hanging in the living room...
- Jason
Sunday, 23 December 2012
Day 10.. 12 days of Adoption Christmas
Day 10...More answers to your questions
All information is from our agency's website: http://www.adoptionbychoice.ca
What is Open Adoption?
Open adoption is a positive way to bring people together to create an adoption plan that leaves all parties feeling secure and respected.
Birth parents choose the adoptive family who will raise their child, and along with the adoptive family, they choose how they want to keep in touch with the child over the years. The starting point of an open adoption is the birth family and adoptive family coming together to build a plan that will meet the needs of the child. Many birth parents receive emails, photos of their child, and some also have phone calls and visits with the adoptive family. Every adoption plan is unique and the type and frequency of contact will likely vary over time as the family’s lives will undoubtedly change. Ongoing contact of some form will give the birth parent and their family comfort of knowing that their child is safe and happy. They can be proud of the plan they built for their child, knowing that they placed their child's needs above their own.
Through ongoing contact, adoptive families better understand the birth parents' decision to choose adoption, and they have access to important information about the birth parents.
Open adoption especially benefits the children. There is an opportunity for the child to learn about and maintain a connection with their birth family, their culture and original roots.
Each open adoption arrangement is unique. At ABC, we will ensure the child's placement is as unique as the people involved.
1)Is there a cost to adopt a child? What is the cost?
Yes, there is a cost to adopt a child. An agency adoption is about $11,000, which covers the services provided to you and birth parents throughout the adoption process. These fees are broken down into three parts: Becoming an approved applicant, moving on to the active list and placement fees charged to finalize an adoption once the child is in your care.
2)What is the procedure to adopt?
a. Our application to adopt needs to be filled out giving information about yourselves, the child you would accept, and references for yourselves.b. Once the criminal record check and the request for intervention record check have been returned, you have attended the weekend seminar, and your references have been checked out, we arrange for a home study report to be done by one of our social workers.
c. When the home study report is complete, you are ready to go onto our wait list and write a letter to the birth parents. This is a letter introducing yourselves to them with pictures of you and your life.
Application Forms can be found here.
3) What is the average wait for a child?
The average wait for a family is between six and thirty months.4) Can the birth parents take the child away from us later?
No, the birth mother or father cannot take the child away. The birth mother and father signs consents at the time the child is placed and has 10 days in which to revoke those consents.5) Can we choose the sex of the child?
Most families are accepting of whatever gender the child born would be. If a family were to specify the gender they would accept, it would decrease the number of times when their file would be shown (where child already born).6) Is there counselling available for us and the birth parents?
Yes, part of the costs involved in an adoption are for this specific purpose. We are here with trained professional social workers to help with every step of the process for both the birth parents and the adopting parents, and their families.Friday, 21 December 2012
Day 9...12 Days of Adoption Christms
This time of year we are thinking about how all our christmases will be from now on. We are thinking about our childhood and the traditions we grew up with. Jason and I grew up with very different traditions. Jason grew up in catholic home and spent time at church during the holiday. The Burns family opens all their gifts on xmas eve, and only has what Santa brought to open on Christmas day. Which is becoming something we have to compromise on. In the Cowles home we only opened 1 gift, plus the one gift that had some new xmas pj's in them. Out stockings were left at the end of our beds and we were not allowed to wake our parents up till 8am, then we opened everything. We where usually done around 11, then watched a new movie then dinner.
We are very excited to create our traditions but also want to instil in our child that isn't just about the gifts. The traditions I want to share with my child is the saving gifts for xmas morning. Xmas eve is meant for games, hanging out and just taking a moment to cherish each other. Gifts are not the meaning of Christmas they are the cherry on top of it all.
I want the PJ fairy to visit.
I also want to start a wishing tree, where every year we tie ribbons on a tree and they stay on till the following year to see if your wish came true!
The month of December is the month of Gratitude and Charity. We have not figured out all the details, but every day in the advent calendar there is a mission of gratitude and charity. When they are small the missions will be small and grow as they grow. Hopefully instilling giving and kindness, instead of greed and selfishness.
We are enjoying this quiet christmas with a few family gatherings but mostly by ourselves. It will be our last one with just the two of us!!
Merry Christmas!!
We are very excited to create our traditions but also want to instil in our child that isn't just about the gifts. The traditions I want to share with my child is the saving gifts for xmas morning. Xmas eve is meant for games, hanging out and just taking a moment to cherish each other. Gifts are not the meaning of Christmas they are the cherry on top of it all.
I want the PJ fairy to visit.
I also want to start a wishing tree, where every year we tie ribbons on a tree and they stay on till the following year to see if your wish came true!
The month of December is the month of Gratitude and Charity. We have not figured out all the details, but every day in the advent calendar there is a mission of gratitude and charity. When they are small the missions will be small and grow as they grow. Hopefully instilling giving and kindness, instead of greed and selfishness.
We are enjoying this quiet christmas with a few family gatherings but mostly by ourselves. It will be our last one with just the two of us!!
Merry Christmas!!
Monday, 17 December 2012
Day 8... of 12 Days of Adoption Christmas
Day 8.. Home for the Holidays
Last year we sat down to watch some TV and we stumbled on this show. I have watched it before but last year it was special. We had just met with the Adoption agency and decided to move forward with Adoption.
This year this show means so much more to us and our families. We want to have foster care adoption become part of our families journey as well.
Last year we sat down to watch some TV and we stumbled on this show. I have watched it before but last year it was special. We had just met with the Adoption agency and decided to move forward with Adoption.
This year this show means so much more to us and our families. We want to have foster care adoption become part of our families journey as well.
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A HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS
DEC. 19 @ 8 PM et
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This year, the stories of four exceptional families who have been touched by adoption will be featured along with a segment that gives a voice to children in foster care still waiting to find permanent and loving homes to call their own. These inspirational stories will be accompanied by performances by Rascal Flatts, Phillip Phillips, Rachel Crow, Matchbox Twenty, and Melissa Ethridge. Celebrity personalities Kevin Frazier, Wayne Brady, Jillian Michaels and Julie Chen also will present. During the show, talk with the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption on Twitter about foster care adoption by using the hashtag #AHFTH. We'll be around during the show to answer any questions you have about adoption from foster care and to discuss the special. Join us Dec. 19 at 8 p.m. ET to see the joy of having a family through the eyes of a child -- not just for the holidays, but forever. ![]() |
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