My reality is the happiest of All!!

I learned a lesson this weekend. Since before Christmas I have been battling in my head the struggles in my life compared to other people's joys in their life. I/We have made decisions to live the way we live for our happiness. We chose to live simpler and smaller to be able to afford adoption. We chose to have me go after my dream instead of going after bigger and bigger toys and houses. That is what we chose.

I am on social media a lot for my art career. I have found a little bit of success online and continue to grow my business through that tool. While I am on there you see the false reality that everyone has us believe that their life is awesome. Don't get me wrong I am just as guilty. We post pictures of happy times, things we want to brag about, to show everyone our life is amazing. Who really wants to see me cry over a commercial, or stay in bed because I am keeled over in pain. Who wants to see the bills we try to pay and rising costs of adoption? Who would want to follow an artist who inspires others fall on her knees when her heart is broken, or see me fight with my husband over his shoes at the back door? Who wants to read my story of infertility and life as women who can not birth a child?

What I have learned is a lot of people want to see that and hear that. Because I am open with my journey I inspire. My strength helps other open up and talk about their story. I have learned that infertility, marriage, losing your job, finances and life in general is F$@!%&G hard and we all have it. What I haven't learned is who is battling what? I know that we all have stuff that we face and overcome it but I couldn't tell you who.

Comparison is the thief of JOY!Theodore Roosevelt

I have also learned that I am happy with our life, our careers and our journey. I am an artist.I create everyday and dream up anything I want. I live in a house I love. I have food on my table. I get to spend time with people I love. I have some one who loves me more then I could have ever asked for. I have friends that make me laugh even from far away. I don't need more of anything. I am content.

I have allowed other peoples lives and opinions seep into my outlook on what happiness means to me. 80% of everyone we know are taking or have been on vacation in the past 6 months. We haven't been able to. It was really getting to me. Then a light went off! Our journey to bring our child home is far more important then any vacation we go on or car we buy or bigger house we live in and so on....

SO I let it go. We made a decision to adopt and that is what we are doing. The journey is longer then we ever thought but no matter what we miss along the way won't matter when we bring our child home.

In the end no matter what I see others doing I will not compare and get lost in it. My reality is the happiest of all because its mine!

Lauren