#balance

 I've been working in the restaurant industry for over 20 years now, and it is definitely a career path very different from all the rest.  Anyone who has worked in a busy restaurant for a considerable amount of time, knows what it takes to not only do it, but to do it well.  It takes working a lot of long hours, weekends, holidays... basically always working when everyone else doesn't seem to be.
  When I began in it so many years ago, I was a kid that was a little lost. I was shy, introverted, and really looking to be a part of a fun social scene to help me grow out of my shell. Throughout the years in this industry, I always gravitated towards positive mentors and worked hard to learn from them.
  Now achieving success in this industry takes it's toll.  The more you put into it, the more it can take out of you.  Commitment and loyalty are things that are a valuable asset, but with that comes incredible sacrifice.  I have missed family gatherings, birthdays, Christmas dinners, celebrations.. all in thinking that my hard work would pay off.  But what if that balance you search for in life never really comes?  Or if you think you finally have it, but everyone you hold close to you tells you that you're wrong?  What kind of father would I be able to be with things as they were?

  It was really difficult for me to accept what so many close friends, family, and (especially) my wife were telling me.  That my job was controlling my life.  I was in it, mentally and physically almost 100% of the time, and every day of the week.  Home life wasn't sacred, and I never learned any different because I always just sacrificed my own time for the betterment of the job.  I had done that to myself, because I didn't know any other way to be the best. We all strive to be "busy" and fill our lives with work to fulfill our worth and move up the ladder.

  Well 2014 was the year to absorb the positive things and people in mine and Lauren's lives.  Not focusing on the pain, anger, and hurt, but just move towards what felt good and right.  I had to grow the courage to focus and fight for myself.  However because of all the commitment I had already given, there was no way for me to really go back on the extra effort that I had always given because I had dug myself into that hole.  There needed to be a change.  It was the single most scariest time in my life.  I drew up my resume for the first time in almost 15 years and started to look ahead.  But I had no confidence that I could do much else or work anywhere different.  Plus, was I supposed to start over somewhere?  People don't tend to value restaurants as a valid career path, and I questioned my own skill-sets.  What would I do?

  My journey into looking for other work helped develop strength in my own self-worth.  I was part of an industry that traditionally gives back very little.  Everyone takes, but rarely gives praise or understands.  So talking about my skills and accomplishments with those close around me helped develop the courage to move forward.
  It is really interesting how when you focus on growth for yourself, the universe helps make it happen for you, and getting you to where you need to be.  I couldn't have been more relieved to move on from my old position, because I was then free to be myself.  I could choose what I needed, and develop my job for who I knew I was and could be.  But would my future lie in the same industry that had taken so much from me?

  Well after 20 years I have come back full circle to the company in which I started with as a teenager.  Moxie's has changed quite a bit, I knew it wasn't the same checkered table, family dining that I remembered it as.  It had grown up (but so had I).  However I wasn't sure if I was ready or understood what the company was really about, or if I would even fit in with it's philosophy or vision.

  It actually took some coaxing from Lauren for me to apply and send my resume in, I had interviews outside of the restaurant industry up to that point and really felt that I needed to find something different so that I could have the proper balance to be the father I needed to be.  This would probably be the same if not more work and pressure than I needed.

  But I sent my resume in anyways, and it was the best decision I ever made.  

  In my 8 months now back with the company, I have learned and developed more than I had ever done in my entire career.  Is it challenging?  Definitely.  In some ways I am working harder than I ever have before.  But it is all about balance.  Two days off a week... in a row?  Part of the company standard.  One weekend off a month?  Standard.  Vacation days?  Yup, you guessed it.  I've been so pleasantly surprised that the brand has it's core philosophy on making people feel special.  The guests, the staff, and the management.  We all work incredibly hard for our shifts, but when the day is done we are able to leave it there.  It's a difficult concept for me to grasp but I'm starting to figure that out.

  Just this past weekend I attended an appreciation dinner for the entire management staff from Alberta.  Listening to the President of the company not only give a speech about thanking everyone for the work they are doing, but what really got to me is how he addressed the spouses and partners.  He also thanked "them".  For letting us do what we do and supporting us.  For understanding how passionate we are about our people and our guests.  For knowing we have so many people that rely on us.  That this business was incredibly demanding, but that we were all in it together.
  It really made Lauren and I feel good.  Plus, feeling at ease that I was now working hard for our future.  We are now where we need to be.  The focus on absorbing the good in our lives and trusting our hearts has lead us here.  I feel incredibly proud to feel so appreciated, but that Lauren is as well.  Working with so many like-minded career individuals, that understand what it is like to work in this industry, is overwhelming.
  And most important of all, is that I am often asked at work about the pending adoption.  My co-workers and managers are incredibly supportive, but also give me the structure that I need so I can leave work at the drop of a hat if I need to when that adoption call happens.  

  So now, we are able to continue moving forward and breathe.  Lauren is modest at saying it but is becoming a very successful and more important artist.  I am again working very hard, but that work is already truly reciprocating itself.  I've received praise from my peers, and really feel a home with my new business family.  Lauren and I now have the strength and courage to focus even more on ourselves, our lifestyles, and our health.  Our relationship together has seen many challenges, as it's been threatened by the pressures of the adoption wait and changing careers, but we've really persevered. 
  
  Through everything we've overcome this past year, we see how important each one of those challenges has been.  I don't resent where I used to work or the different people that impacted my life.  In fact I am so grateful that I was able to grow and learn from them, and through everything that happened.  Because it has all brought me exactly to where I needed to be.  Right here, right now.
  Lauren and I both know that with this kind of balance and control in our lives now, we have more resolve than ever to be the best possible parents for the child that will soon be coming.


Jason