Last year I sat here writing this post about my 35th birthday click here to read Tonight I feel the same way. Your birthday hasn't come and I face another. Birthdays are supposed to make you feel important and special and I know that my friends, family and all who love me will express it, but my heart aches and my birthday is just a reminder that I am still waiting for yours.
Waiting for you has made me see the world differently, to feel differently, to be grateful, to experience life with knowing you are missing. I have learned a lot about myself, about my marriage and about life. I still turn your light on in your room to fill it with light until it is filled with giggles and tiny foot steps. I still jump for the phone and hope its you calling. I wish I could stop growing and wait to do it with you. But I can't. I have grown into this woman that I have wanted to become. My dream has come true and I am an artist. My courage has grown to face each day with open arms. My bravery has doubled in facing life without you. My heart has grown so big filling with all my love for you. Your Dad and I have faced challenges that we never thought would happen. We have grown stronger and closer waiting for you, through the dark times we always seem to come out into light when we think of you.
Waiting for you has made me see the world differently, to feel differently, to be grateful, to experience life with knowing you are missing. I have learned a lot about myself, about my marriage and about life. I still turn your light on in your room to fill it with light until it is filled with giggles and tiny foot steps. I still jump for the phone and hope its you calling. I wish I could stop growing and wait to do it with you. But I can't. I have grown into this woman that I have wanted to become. My dream has come true and I am an artist. My courage has grown to face each day with open arms. My bravery has doubled in facing life without you. My heart has grown so big filling with all my love for you. Your Dad and I have faced challenges that we never thought would happen. We have grown stronger and closer waiting for you, through the dark times we always seem to come out into light when we think of you.
I never imagined that my life would bring me to you, now that I wait for you I have become numb in the daily waiting for the moment you are in my arms.
My birthday wish is to stop waiting for you, to hold you, to smell you, to nourish you, to love you!
Tomorrow is my birthday, and I am still waiting for yours so badly.
-L
Lovely words honey. Soon. Love Mom.
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