Two years!!

When I say it has been 2 years it is unbelievable to me that that much time has gone past. Everyday I am aware that I am waiting for my little one to arrive and everyday it seems impossible. When you look back at time passed it always seemed to have flown by. Our life has become used to the sadness and mundane days of waiting. Life seems to go on, careers grow, and projects get done. Our lives are really great. But inside we hold this sadness. This part of us we hide, or try not to allow it to run our lives.

I want to get the call, I want to meet our birth Mom, I want my baby to be in my arms. I have no control on when this will happen for me. I want to tell the world I am a Mom. I want to do what the women around me get to do, When will it be my turn???

I have heard all the catchy inspirational phrases and trust me I have held onto some so tight that the words hold no meaning any more. I know logically in my mind my baby will come when it comes. But my heart says Fuck off!! and I don't blame it. Things happen for a reason, it will happen when it suppose too, stay positive, your baby is coming, sting like alcohol in an open wound.

Right now we seem numb to the adoption. No news is bad, and nothing is happening. I keep reminding myself that this journey is so much bigger then the waiting part. There is still the match, the meeting, the first 3 months with a new born, 18 years and counting of parent hood. Yes, this is some form of allowed torture but it is going to get way more stressful and harder. I created this piece of art that says" GROW SLOWLY LITTLE ONE BECAUSE SOON YOUR WINGS WILL FLY". not so much for the child who is always so quick to grow up but for the parents to slow down and cherish the child you have, the days they are little. So often we forget that miracle of children and then they are grown. I need to remember this. The waiting part of adoption is slow but as soon as we get that little baby time will pass very fast.



-Lauren