It's now official!

311 days ago our lives changed forever when we brought Owen home.

Monday February 15th is Family Day in Alberta, and that just so happened to be the day when our Adoption order arrived in the mail!  Our son is now legally "Owen Faron Burns", and our dream of adoption has now finally, officially, come to fruition.  On family day no less!

You're probably thinking to yourself, "311 days?" or "his name wasn't Owen?" well you would be correct.  We both went through another long wait to make it official, but honestly this wait was nothing compared to the one being on the adoption list, so we could handle it but it was still difficult.

After we took Owen home, a lot went on.  Including several meetings with the Adoption Agency of course, meeting the Birthmother, getting new/updated criminal record checks (to really just make sure) done, another home study, more questions, more money spent, and a lot of information sent off to the courts to be processed and judged.

So Owen's name up until recently was legally "Baby Boy", and he had a different last name than ours, so let me assure you it wasn't the easiest visits to the doctor or for immunizations when he had to in a round-about way prove that he was ours, and that we weren't crazy people who had scooped a child off the street.

This past year has been a different kind of challenge for us.  Obvious reasons is that we have been new parents, but also in a naive way we thought that our adoption story would in a way end when we took him home from the hospital last April.  We've experienced a lot of different ups and downs since the placement took place, that for any of you on an adoption list would want to know about.

That's why we're continuing to blog about this process, because it's so important to raise awareness of open adoption, and support adoptive parents and birthmothers.  Whether you are considering adoption as a viable option, trying to cope waiting on the list, or learning more about open adoption in general it's important to get that support and read other people's stories (we know we sure did).

But for now, we're definitely soaking up that the initial adoption placement is 100% complete, and we can take that weight we didn't realize we had, off our backs and continue to move forward with the most important little person in our world.

and so begins the Adventures of O


Jason & Lauren

It's a BOY!!

It has happened, he is here! 

Owen Faron Burns arrived into this world on April 10 at 2:07am weighing 6lbs 2oz - 19"long and was placed into our waiting arms on that same day at 12:30pm.

That was it. The wait was now finally over.

On April 10th we were on our way to Calgary for an art show I was in the following day. Thought we would stop for breakfast at our favorite little small town diner, do some shopping at Ikea, and then have coffee with Jason's folks. Our car was so packed with Art I was sitting in the back seat!  We stopped in Airdrie to grab some supplies and when we stopped we noticed a voicemail on Jason's phone to call the adoption agency.  This happens once in a while, so we didn't think anything of it.

While I went in to shop, Jason went to the car and call the adoption agency back.  After a few minutes I came out to see what was up, and by that point he was holding his phone and crying.  Jason told me that we were chosen.  We held each other and cried in the parking lot for what seemed like an eternity.

Within a couple hours we were already at the hospital meeting our new son,  But this instant adoption caught us off-guard and we had nothing with us.  That night we stayed at our cousin's place in Calgary, and luckily they had a extra car seat for us to use!  Not to mention a box of newborn clothes for the little one.

The next morning before we went back to the hospital to get him, but we had to decide on a name.  We had both thought of different names that we liked over the years, but now all a sudden we had to make the difficult decision to sign our son out of the hospital with a new name that he would have the rest of his life. 24 hours ago we were just thinking about what kind of eggs to have with our breakfast, and now this!

So we finally brainstormed, and researched many different names.  We both went through the names that we had like over the years on the adoption list, and started to eliminate the ones that didn't fit.  What was important was that we had just met the little guy, so some names didn't suit him.

Within a couple hours that Saturday morning, we had named him Owen.  One translation for Owen is "desired child".  What better definition that that?  What kid has been desired and thought about more?

His middle name would be Faron.  The name Faron is at it's roots a German name meaning "journey".  Of course the journey being what we went through together to bring us to this time and place, now with him.

After quick hugs with our cousins, we left for the hospital to go get Owen.  The rest has all been kind of a blur because our lives have been changed forever.

We got home to Red Deer later that afternoon, and my parents had already picked up formula and diapers for us.  Immediately we had to clean out the baby's room because it had been sitting idle for years. All of a sudden now we were using a room we never really had before, and our house just got a little bigger!

Then parenthood started. Work schedules were rearranged, chores fell to the wayside and our son instantly became priority.  It seemed so surreal that he had finally arrived.

Jason and I were prepared for an instant placement, we were told about them and all other options that are possible.  But no matter how prepared you are, mentally or physically it still comes as a shock.  Nothing truly prepares you for it. Your mind takes a while to catch up to what is happening on the outside as in disbelief we keep asking ourselves, "Did this really just happen??"

Now why are we just telling all of you now, almost a couple weeks later?  Well once the adoption placement happens, it doesn't really become official.  Owen's birthmom is one of the bravest and most important people that has ever impacted our lives, but in this process she has 10 days to change her decision.  So as of midnight that just passed, we now officially became parents.  The last week or so have been absolutely nerve racking to say the least.

But now we can tell everyone!

We've been parents for just 10 days now and our dreams really have come true. We're enjoying every single minute with this little guy. Words cannot really express what our hearts are feeling or what our minds need to say, but we are in complete awe of this as we need to let it all sink in.

Thank you so much to all of you who have been with us through this entire process.  The adoption experience up to this point has been completely life changing.  Thank you to listening to our stories, harboring our pain, and working with us through the hope that we would one day bring our child home through adoption.  But the biggest thank you of all goes to the birthmom who chose us, the most special, important and bravest woman of all.  

The years of waiting have been very difficult, but when we hold Owen in our arms, we know that it was all absolutely worth it.

And so the parenting adventure begins!  Owen is eager to meet so many of you.  He's a very healthy and happy baby, and I'm sure we have many more stories to tell.


So please stay tuned for the next step in our Adventure in Adopting.



Love,

Lauren, Jason, and Owen

Our Adoption Profile Book 2015

This is our third update of our adoption profile album.  Our book is distributed by our Adoption Agency to Social Workers around Alberta, and then to those brave birthmoms who choose to go with adoption.

We tell the story of who we are, where we came from, who we try to be as people, who we are as a couple, and who we want to be as parents.

Hoping that this helps bring us closer to the next step in our adventure.

#waiting #adoption #adventuresinadopting #thenextstep

Riding the Emotional Rollercoaster

  There are times where Lauren and I are so optimistic and focus on being happy about our adoption process, that we easily flow our emotions out onto our blog and talk about it with our friends and family.
  But waiting to be parents for years now, brings its share of ups and downs, and is a real emotional rollercoaster to say the least.
  Our focus this year has been to "Breathe".  To accept where things take us, and that it is all a part of a bigger plan to bring us to that next step.  Easier said than done, but we've just started our climb again to a more positive place after dipping into a month of real lows.  Just like a rollercoaster, sometimes you slowly start climbing and enjoying the beautiful view... only for an unexpected drop to bring you crashing down.
  One of the things we figured out we never really talk about are the close calls.  The opportunities that never turn out.  What we mean by that, is that with our adoption agency we have a profile.  With our own personal profile, comes our adoption book, which highlights who we are, where we've come from, and how the birthmom could see ourselves as parents.
  So when a birthmother makes a decision about adoption, a social worker will meet them, get in touch with our adoption agency, and then the mother has to not only be incredibly brave about the path she has chosen, but then make the most difficult decision of all - which parents to pick.
  What profiles the social worker shows the mom is usually based on profiles, but also their spot on the adoption list, depending also on the situation at hand.
 
  So many of you don't know, that we recently had a call.

  There was a birthmom in the region who had chosen adoption, and in fact was having the baby the day we were contacted.  Not because we were chosen, but because the agency wanted to make us aware about the situation, and for us to be prepared because Lauren and I could have to drop everything we were doing and go to the hosptial at any time.  The birthmom had our file and was looking at it (along with others).
  Myself, I tried to stay grounded, but a lot of emotions come welling up inside you which you can't avoid.  I was at work when Lauren called me, and I had trouble focusing.  Good thing my work is very fast paced and never has a dull moment, because I tried to bury myself in my job... but emotionally I was a wreck.

  Was this finally going to be it after years of waiting?
  Who is the birthmom?
  What does she look like?
  Is it going to be a boy or a girl?
  Have Lauren and I really figured out a name yet?
  Is the nursery all ready?
  How do I change a diaper?
  Is the birthmom going to like us?
  Where do we have to go?

  ..................etc, etc, all night long

  Neither Lauren or I got a lot of sleep.  We tried to stay calm, and we waited for that call.  Sometimes these things don't happen right away.  It's all up to the birthmom.  But we were ready at any time.

  The phone never rang that night.
  I went to work, Lauren did her art show.... still waiting for an update.
  No phone call that next day.  We went about our business.

  The following day.  Still no call.  Our hearts sunk.

  Then I called up the adoption agency after that to get an update.  The birthmom had a healthy baby, and had chosen another couple on the list.  They couldn't tell us why necessarily, because in this case it was such an instant placement that it could have been anything.  The other parents had other kids, and we didn't.  They lived in Northern Alberta... and still from there you will never really know why.

  But all we know is that it wasn't meant to be.  But this wasn't the first time.

  We cry a little.  Then we cry a lot.  Our depression and sadness comes out in frustration, that we fight.  We say things to each other that we don't mean.  It took a lot of soul searching, but we've come out of this again, and are able to talk about our sadness to each other.

  No matter how much pain we go through, we still know that it will all be worth it.

  We can't give up.  We won't give up.

  For right now, Lauren and I have updated our profile book for the third time.  We will share it with all of you, so you can see what the prospective birthmom is going to see.  We've probably over-analyzed this book more than you all know.

  Thank you to everyone for your continued encouragement and love.  Remember don't hesitate to ask us "How is the adoption?"

  It doesn't hurt.  We want to tell you.  We need to tell you.



Jason & Lauren

Life as waiting parents.....

We seem to have gotten into a groove of ignoring what we really feel. I can go days without acknowledging what is breaking my heart. I still think about the adoption everyday and almost every hour but it has become this elephant in the room. We don't mention it as much or think about what we are really feeling. We internalize our own thoughts of the adoption. It is all temporary as we are waiting parents. It could happen so fast that it will take our minds and hearts to catch up to what is actually physically happen even though we have had many years to prepare ourselves for it. I think we will be in a state of disbelief when it really does happen, that it is actually happening. I dream of that day. I catch myself thinking about it all the time. What the scenario will be, if it will be a boy or a girl, will the birth mom be in our lives, will it be a call in the middle of the night or will there be chance we can be there when our baby is born? All these unknowns keeps my heart open to this amazing possibility of becoming a mother. But after 31 months being on the list they can also make you dwell on the wait. We have changed babies name so many times, rearranged the room and gotten our hopes up about situations that have led to disappointment.

We know this is temporary but it is our reality in which we have been in for 2.5 yrs. It is harder to ignore the questions will it happen, should we be doing this, how much more can we handle? We are enduring the wait by staying strong and hopeful, the excitement has worn off but we can find it when we want to. We have hidden it away for now to keep focused on our daily lives and move forward.

I know it is right there waiting to explode out of us, to share with you, but for now we must keep it close to our hearts and protected.

Lauren

#hope

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” 
― Maya Angelou

Facing Fear

  Lauren and I do a lot to stay positive.  We have spent a lot of time moving towards and absorbing the positive things and people in our lives.  But fear, pain, and despair will always try to come creeping back in.  What we've learned, is you need to face it.  It's easy to look around, and feel the agony of the wait and the time that has passed.  You can't avoid it (because it always finds you) or it will eat you alive.

  Facing our fears is just as important as moving towards the positive.  We didn't want the winter snow to fall outside last year, symbolically knowing we had to wait another winter without a baby.  But it has, and it is.  There is nothing we can do to change that.  Each night the cold feelings come back to us, and pierce through the darkness of that empty room.  But we turn on the light in the nursery every day, to help shine hope and separate our body from our minds.

  We can then look into the future and see how happy we are going to be.

  Also look over all the amazing people that are in our lives, where we've come from, what we have now, and how happy we already are.

  So the nursery can start with overwhelming sadness, but as we face it, that turns into hope.  I know that now I can pick up the kids toys, thinking about them and how fun it will be.  I can look at all the books we have and how excited I'm going to be reading them.  I can nap in the rocking chair and find peace that it will happen when it happens (it always helps when one of the dogs jumps up and sleeps with me too).


  Music has always been a huge inspiration to me, and I've also taken solace now in many of my favorite artists.  I'm finding songs that I've never really listened too before, and just skipped over.  But now they are starting to hold such great meaning and give me comfort:


Social Distortion - Cold Feelings


  Another beautiful day, another cold night, but we will find our way through it, and turn on that light.

Jason