Just got a message from a friend politely asking why we are adopting.
I have responded to her and asked if I could post it.
'Thank you for your kind words. Adoption is how our family is coming together and we, along with our families are thrilled.
Why not Adopt? Every child needs a family. We are a couple who wants to create a family unit full of love, happiness, fun, imagination ,creativity and joy and the ups and downs of growing up. We want to share and learn with a child and experience the growing of a child into an adult.
At the beginning I was offended when people asked me why we were adopting. Many feelings came through me. Why is it any of your business why we are adopting? Why does it matter? I always felt like people thought it was our second choice.
As we move through the adoption process We are very proud we were adopting and this was going to be our story so it didn't bother to talk about it. It shouldn't matter that we are adopting, EVER. Some people don't know that after we got married we always talked about adoption to be a part of our family. We actually went to the adoption agency before we went to the fertility clinic. Before we even understood what was going on. Here is that back story:
We visited the adoption agency November of 2011, Our first appt at the fertility clinic was January 2012. After we had been trying for 3 yrs it was time to move on and get answers. We had the adoption application filled out when the Doctor told us that he thinks I have endometriosis and I will need a surgery to correct it and we will go from there. We were looking for a solution to my everyday pain, which was horrible everyday and if it helped us conceive then that would be a bonus. I needed to sort out my pain and health before bringing a child into our home no matter how it came to us. Because of the surgery and the recovery we decided to not put in the adoption application until after the surgery. Also the agency does not allow you to adopt within a yr of having or adopting another child or have surgery while being on the list. Your file would be put on hold until fully recovered. The surgery came and went. The outcome was devastating, but knowing how we had opened our hearts to adoption it was just a transition we needed to make. I cannot have children without help or seriously affecting my health and my life. My lower abdomen was completely covered with scar tissue from endo, and he tried to burn some of it off but it was to severe. I will never forget hearing the words come out of his mouth in recovery, "its best you do not have children, there is too much damage and your life will be in serious danger." I went through anger, sadness and still have emotions hit hard every now and then. Our decision to adopt was right in front of us the entire time, and we are very happy to be adopting.
Adoption as you can see was not a second choice, it was there all along and it turned out to be the journey we will take to find our family. So even though we discovered I could not have children, adoption was right fit for our family, right from the beginning."
We have been growing our child in our hearts and not in my tummy for 2.5 months now. For some reason this feels like this was my path all along. I had said to Jay I think at the 2 yr mark of trying to conceive, "Does it matter if we know or not that we cannot have children, let's adopt!" It's like I knew all long that this would be our journey and I needed it to play out the way it did to be able to get where I am right now! Thankful and grateful for my journey and what is to come!
-LC
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