It's another day!!

We have been rescheduled till Thursday. Thank goodness it is still this week. With adoption you put your schedules, hopes and dreams into someone else's hands, and so far we have been ok with that. Knowing someone else is in charge of this process is making this more of a learning curve for one of us then expected.

I am a bit of a control freak, I make up better ways to do things when things go wrong for everyone at movie theaters, restaurants and anything in between. That's what I do, gain control and run it smoothly. So in light of what happened last night I am learning to let go of the control and letting some else take charge. Some of you may think it is God, some of you think its fate, but whoever it is I trust that in the end this is our path that we were meant to walk. All of this is really how it is. I was never supposed to birth a child, I was meant to adopt. This is my path. I just wish in school and growing up they pulled us (girls who couldn't birth) aside and taught us about our path. Our path that we now walk blind, with a few supporters behind us knowing what we are going through because they so cannot birth. Instead of holding onto a thought or belief that we could carry a child that one day a little me will be walking around outside my body. I was never upset at the loss of the idea I was more upset with the changing of plans, the disbelief that what I was made for could not happen, the loss of what was expected. Now, I expect the path to hold little presents and surprises that not everyone will know and in the end our family will be complete. I am expecting the unexpected.

I hope through this and however long it takes I change all of you and the perception of someone who can't birth a child. I say birth because that is all I cannot do. I can still be a Mom and experience all of what comes with that except the pregnancy and whatever happens after. Which in truth am glad I don't after reading a chapter in what to expect when your expecting...But through this journey I have learned the words that are offensive and terms that we all need to listen and correct. Like natural child. All child are natural, it is biological or adoptive. Not real, all children are real no matter what. For me I have always said I cannot have children. WRONG. I can. I am just going though it differently then most.

I hope that I have opened our eyes to see that what we expect may not happen, and so what if that happens. There are worse things in this life to happen, like life it self is way more important to me then a hiccup in my plans and the lives of all of you.

-LC