Just another day!!

 I painted this picture yesterday to hang over our couch. Today it was very hard to laugh. But we did!! We faced some struggles but came out okay, a little worse for wear, especially our little Stella. Car issues, vet bills, finances, chronic pain and stress.

This morning Stella had trouble jumping up on the bed and when I pulled her close she screamed. I thought I just pulled to tight and left it at that. We went on with our day, had to get my car to the doctor and returned a few hours later. She was trembling and scared. I went to pull her up and she screamed again. We put her outside to see if she had to go and she would sit on the cold snow. She moved slow and wouldn't come in. So I went to lift her up and she screamed louder and longer. We got her leash and she followed me inside but would not walk up the stairs. So we called the vet and took her in immediately. After an external exam which led to 2 x-rays Stella has Sclerosis of the Spine. She has a bend in her spine just below her tail. It is inflamed and causing her pain which she then is not p**ping causing her more pain. Okay! Breathe!

It may never get worse or it may lead to paralysis. It is very early stage and we caught it at the beginning so we can monitor it and help her not get worse. At this point I want her to p**p and be done with the pain. She is on pain killers and a laxative to help get it moving. She is on bed rest for 3-4 weeks to hopeful lower the inflammation and get her back to regular movements.

We know that Stella to some is just a dog but to us she is our baby. Her and Adicus were there when we didn't have a baby, was there to cuddle us and put a smile on our face when times were tough, she makes us smile and laugh everyday and to us she is our family.

So today we didn't have a great day but we managed to laugh through the fear and tears. Stella made us laugh while she scaring the p**p out of us. Just another day!!

Lauren

We are all Waiting!

2014 is over!!

As we approached December this year and the annual Christmas gatherings we were very protective of our hearts. Last year was hard as we went in blind and came out very exhausted. Many things happened that were unintentional but extremely hurtful for a waiting family. So this year we didn't make many plans. We saw family and friends a couple of times but mostly stayed away. We didn't miss anything and it was the best thing we could do for ourselves.

Until we got news from our agency that the fees would be going up in January. Now don't get to shocked we are fully aware that this could happen and we understand why. We pay for services as they happen so if we don't get a match with the price of when we signed up we are subject to price increases. We also are very supportive of the agency, they do so much, are on call all the time, counselling and matching etc. It isn't about the price, it's never about the money. It was such a hit 5 days before xmas to get the news. We were fine up until then. Holding strong. After that it was hard to not cry at commercials with kids, or see people in stores buying xmas gifts for their kids. All reminders where we are on this journey. 

Christmas came and went and we survived. We always do! This year we decided we needed to get away to our place in the woods. This was our 4th year out 5 spending New Years out there. We reflected on this past year. And what a year it has been. We never thought we could handle much more stress and struggle but this year sure tested us and we came out stronger. Each of us went through career changes and new challenges within them. We managed to survive it all financially, emotionally and physically. We worked on our house and yard, worked on our marriage and ourselves. This year not only tested our strength but our courage to keep going, our love for each other and our ability to adapt with changes that we had no control over.

Over New Years we discussed our year and what we wanted from this coming year. Of course BABY is at the top but it is more about how we are going to take it all in. Good or Bad. We didn't have tools for what happened throughout  last year but we do now. We know each other better, we know how each of us are coping and what we need daily. We understand that this life we are living is bigger then just our little bubble. And no matter what we hold onto. fear of the unknown, or unhappiness we must let it go to see the other side of something that is really really great. Our baby will come, and until then we must LIVE while we wait and not live to WAIT!!

This year will be better because we are better! We feel more equipped to handle anything that comes our way. We understand each other and ourselves. We have promised each other a better year. It will take work but we have never been shy of hard work. I created this manifesto to refer to to keep us focused, to maintain a consistent theme through out the year! It helps when you have goals to guide you through daily activities, challenges and triumphs.

Thanks for reading, showing support, and understanding this journey.

Have a great Year and we are full of hope for good things to come for all of our friends and family.

We also hope that our Manifesto and Word of the year inspires you to create your own to make this your best year!

Lauren

Our new word for 2015

We had a word for 2014, and it was ABSORB.

Both of us wanted to focus on and absorb positive things and people.  We had gone through struggles in finding balance and being happy in our personal and professional lives.  Especially on this difficult road of adoption, we needed to absorb the positive, release/move away from the negative, and help us grow into where we needed to be.

The obstacles that we had, don't seem that big now that we've moved past them.  We had such fear to move forward, to go into the unknown.  Fear is a voice in your head telling you that you can't do it.  Sometimes that voice is others around you, influencing you through what they say and how they make you feel.  But when you remove those influences... you realize that *Fear isn't Real*!

A lot of change happened last year, and we've touch on that before.  But as we took the time recently to reflect on the year together, we know that although we've worked so hard on growing and changing where we were, that we need to have time to breathe.

So that is our word for 2015 = BREATHE!

It took a lot of strength to keep us together and to get where we are now.  The journey has been arduous, but thankfully we didn't drag our feet to accept who/where we were.  Bravely we are changing into the people we need to be, and to we do it together.

To breathe, also doesn't mean that we are just exhaling, or relaxing this year (oh no).  It really means that because of what we've been challenged with and worked through, we can now take time to work through any problem.  Often we would fight over trivial things, and take our pain out on each other.  But we both know now that we have done so much, and we can continue to do this. *Together* we breathe it in... we believe in each other and that our family will come together this year... and we know what we will receive.  It won't be easy, but if we breathe, we think, we slow it down, we know where and who we are... what can't we do?

So we both stand together, looking forward at the year, and never looking back.

When we started our journey almost 6 years ago, we never thought we would have done so much, but wow are we ever stronger now! Our focus on taking time for ourselves and each other is going to be awesome.

Hope to share all of our new goals this year at some point with all of you, and for a very prosperous and happy new year.


Love,


Jason & Lauren

⁂ Holiday Wishes to our Friends & Family ⁂

We are so thankful for our family and friends this holiday season.  Especially those who we've met this year and become closer with through our adoption journey.

Our strength to endure comes from all of *you*  Thank you for listening to our stories, our joy, our strife, and our pain.  Being with us every step of the way.

Lauren and I have not only grown stronger as people this past year, but we know we will be amazing parents, and that is because of so many of YOU!

Our own parents have shown us incredible love and support.  But we have also grown closer with family and friends who are amazing parents in their own right.  We love being around your children, because you are raising them into such awesome little people that it only strengthens us to do the same.

We watch all of it : your parenting patience, your love, your hugs, your tolerance, your stories... all of this means so much to us because we respect you all so much as parents.

Although we've been waiting for years to start our own family, this holiday season we reflect at how incredible our close family and friends are, and how lucky our little person is going to be one day in knowing all of you.


Thank you.  We love you all.   Merry Christmas!  ♡

I Will Wait

years of waiting have only strengthened our resolve at being the best parents & grow into the best people we could possibly ever be... for you. the story is just beginning. the first page of your own story is going to join our book    #soon #adoption #love

I WILL WAIT

When The Holidays Arrive, But The Baby Doesn’t : Tips for Waiting Parents

From Canada Adopts!  www.canadaadopts.com

The following article at Canada Adopts really encompasses the thoughts and emotions we are going through right now and for waiting parents.  

Lauren and I are dealing with a lot of emotion and changing our routines, trying to stay focused.  As much as we want to be around and with all of you this holiday season, until you wait for adoption (and for this long), it's difficult to know how we feel. 

Last Christmas was so difficult for us, we're not sure how this one is going to go.  All we know, is that we are going to be there for each other, and do the things which make us feel the most comfortable.  If we had a baby right now we would be shouting it to the highest mountain, so right now our natural instinct can be to climb underneath that mountain.

So hope this article gives a little more perspective from parents waiting for adoption, but also that our resolve is true and we are determined to make it through.

- Jason

______________________________________

The holidays are almost here. But while other people are excited and looking forward to their arrival with breathless anticipation, you’re dreading them and looking back.

To this time last year, to be exact.

Remember how powerless you felt as you watched others celebrate the season with their children?

Remember how you felt like you were missing out on something special? That everyone else was having a great time except you?

And remember how you vowed to never go through another holiday season childless and promised you would be a parent by now?

But yet, here you are, one year later, one year older, and still waiting.

What happened? How did another year slip by?

It’s not like you sat around and did nothing. You worked hard. You did so much. And yet looking at your situation today, you would never know it.

Waiting to adopt is difficult any time of the year. But it’s particularly hard now.

This is the time when the pressure builds to make this the best holiday ever. For everything to be just perfect.

But when so much of the season is centered around children and seeing things through their eyes, finding joy can be a challenge.

And yet there are ways to survive the holidays and, yes, to even enjoy them.

Here are some tips to help you.

Remind yourself the holidays are short

For all the pain they cause, the holidays come only once a year and don’t last forever. So enjoy them while you can. Before you know it they’ll be over.

Keep things in perspective

When I was waiting to adopt,  I dreaded this time of the year. I couldn’t wait for it to end. That’s because I didn’t see the holidays for what they are: a time to spend time with family and friends and to find joy through giving rather than receiving.

Know your triggers

Does the sight of small children or a pregnant women make you upset? When you see a stroller or a toy store do you feel like bursting into tears? If so, limit your exposure to them. Being aware of what causes you pain can help you control it and make you feel less powerless.

Decide which social occasions to attend and which to avoid

The holiday season is full of social events. But you don’t have to show up at all of them. Be strategic. Yes, put in an appearance at the office party. But skip the one given by your friend with the new baby if you don’t feel up to it.

Be prepared

This is the time of year when parties and small talk reign supreme. So don’t be surprised if you find yourself cornered by someone you’ve never met before and being peppered with questions about how many children you have. Get ahead of the game. Knowing those questions are coming, arm yourself with answers ahead of time.

Be honest

If you haven’t told your family or friends that you’re struggling to start your family or trying to adopt, now is the time to do it. Sharing your story will take the weight off your shoulders, especially if they keep asking you the same questions about when are you going to have kids. Not to mention there’s a good chance they already know.

If you feel uncomfortable being around children, let your family and friends know

You know your family and friends better than anyone. If you think telling them about how you’re feeling will make them more sensitive toward you, go for it. It won’t solve all your problems. But at least they can’t say they didn’t know. Plus, it’s a great way to get them to join you on your journey.

Connect with other waiting parents

It’s easy to feel isolated and powerless when the holidays are here. But you’re not alone. There are lots of people just like you. Your family and friends may not realize what you’re going through, but other waiting parents will.

Do something special for yourself

Many waiting parents fall into the trap of blaming themselves for their inability to start a family. But it’s not their fault. So don’t beat yourself up. Treat yourself. Give yourself a gift. Get a massage or go away for the weekend. Do something  that makes you feel good about yourself

Do something special for someone else

When you’re sad and depressed, it’s easy to lose perspective. But there many people who are also struggling and worse off than you are. Reach out to them with small acts of kindness. Make a donation or volunteer your time. They’ll feel better and so will you.

Keep living your life

Once the holidays are here, it’s tempting to withdraw and do nothing. But putting your life on hold won’t help you reach your goal any faster. Harness the positive energy around you and do something positive that will make a difference in your life or someone else’s.

Keep a journal

The adoption process is like being on an emotional roller coaster. It robs you of control. Writing your thoughts down is a great way to find an outlet for your emotions and get a better understanding about what you’re going through.

Take care of yourself

Adopting a child is hard work. It requires strength and stamina. To stay on top of things, you need to stay strong.  Eat well, sleep well, and get regular exercise. Don’t let yourself go. Your baby could come at any time and you want to make sure you’re ready.

Be flexible

We all like to set deadlines. Deadlines keep us focused and give us something to work toward. But keep in mind that in adoption anything can happen. Things can change from one moment to the next. So if you do create a timetable, be prepared to adjust it.

Take a break

You’ve worked hard all year to turn your dream into a reality. So why not use the down time to reward yourself with a break. You won’t lose out on anything. And there’s lots to gain. Taking time off will help you recharge your batteries, letting you slide into the New Year with renewed energy and confidence.

Take pride in your accomplishments

When you’re waiting to adopt, it’s easy to dwell on what you haven’t achieved. But don’t lose sight of the things that you have accomplished over the past 12 months. Whether it was completing your home study, finding an agency, creating your adoption profile or joining an adoptive parent support group, you’re probably a lot further ahead now than you were at this time last year.

Try new things

Nothing will take your mind off things and motivate you more than taking on a new project. If you’ve ever wanted to learn a new language, take up the piano, join a pottery class, or give pilates a try, now is the time to do it. You’ll feel energized. And the time will go by faster too.

Embrace the uncertainty

Some adoption matches happen right away, others take more time. So don’t get angry if everyone else seems to be adopting before you.  Adoption isn’t a competition and it’s not about who can find the fastest match. Your child will join you when the time is right and all of the waiting you’ve done will be worth it.

The holidays can be a difficult time when you’re waiting to adopt. But with the right attitude and preparation you can get through them in one piece and make the most of them. Just keep going, keep busy and follow these three words of advice: don’t give up.